Since becoming a counsellor, the way I look and see things changed, even down to things like watching a TV program. An example of this is whilst I am out exercising on a long walk to take a break from my own busy life, I have noticed the way some people interact their young, and the way wildlife does.
Now I know we all lead busy lives, but I have noticed how some parents, carers, responsible adults who are over the park with their young folk, are busy on their phones and not giving their young, their full attention. I notice the children's faces, they way they try to distract the adult, to get them to fully notice them, or even feel like they are out with them. "What about me?", is what I feel when observe this.
We receive a lot of messages when we are young and subconsciously we may start to think, "am I enough?", "why aren't they paying me attention?", "what do I have to do to get noticed?", or maybe, "what have I done wrong?" This can have a real effect on a child's self-esteem and they may even start to think it's their fault. They may start to act out to get attention, good or bad, it's attention. This can often carry on into adulthood and affect how we relate to others. Social media seems to often be a gate crasher to playtimes at the park. On occasion, I have noticed people with their young with headphones on. "I see you, I am with you, but I don't want to hear you", can be the unconscious message sent.
Then I notice the wildlife. Luckily for them, they don't have mobile phones, social media or headphones to interfere with their time spent with their loved ones. They are fully present, attentive and very aware of their surroundings and their young.
I reiterate, I know people lead busy lives and need down time, this is purely an observation of some valuable, quality time being missed for the whole family. Give yourself permission to switch off and be truly present with what you are doing.
#counselling, #mentalhealth, #self-esteem, #amienough, #isitme, #healyscounselling